Mentoring Adult Children

Thanks for your post Sandra. I think I actually put this topic on the schedule and then got so busy with my scholar age kids I totally forgot to write about my older ones! It's a new subject I am very passionate about. It's been an interesting journey over the past 18 years to mentor through all the phases. Our fourth child just "graduated" from high school in May and started his fist week in college just this week. So now I find myself with only three children at home and four who have transitioned, or who are transitioning into capable, happy, functioning adults.

Two years ago I took a long hard look at my life and tried to anticipate my next transitions. I'm now a mother-in-law and a grandmother! I don't feel "old" but these titles somehow were a wake up call. It was a fun process over several weeks to do some vision casting with my various roles. Besides getting crazy with ideas of Grandma Camps, Couples Retreats, and having fun activities with just the boys and girls in our ever growing family, I felt very strongly the need to continue to teach and mentor them in a more structured capacity, too.

Since then we've implemented a summer colloquium. It started with just our married children and their spouses, but has grown this last summer to include everyone who wanted to participate (after the first year, the younger ones didn't want to be excluded!). It's very simple to implement and like any great colloquium, everyone benefits. After a lot of pondering, two books were chosen to read over the summer. It takes about a month or six weeks to read each book. We schedule the discussion time well in advance, so everyone can fit the reading into their schedules. For our children who live at a distance, we include them via Skype.

Sandra is right, the relationships you've fostered with your children during their growing up years pays big dividends after they leave the nest. Now we're beginning to reap new blessings as our children stretch their wings and begin families of their own. It is a wonderful experience to have a continued relationship with our children when they still look up to us as their mentors in aspects of their life such as finances, relationships, child rearing, and careers.